I am going to make this post short and sweet. As a mother of four I do thoroughly enjoy Mother’s Day. I even bought this dress specifically to celebrate the holiday but as I have become more seasoned and experienced life changes I now understand that Mother’s Day can be a hurtful holiday for some. Of course celebrate the mothers in your life or your own motherhood but keep in mind our sisters who may be experiencing a not so good time. As we approach Mother’s Day I want us to remember these things.
Illustration is by Marie Andrews via Instagram
Also, be sure to remember to be sensitive to those who may have lost the people that celebrated them as mothers (i.e. spouse).
Just remember even if it means nothing to you, it may mean everything to them.
When I first started my blog all I heard about was finding your niche and identifying your target audience. You had to know who you were speaking to and who you were serving. I really had no idea who that was. I knew I loved fashion and makeup and everything associated with those things. I knew I was a woman of a certain age and I could no longer relate to younger women who were showing more than I cared to show anymore. I settled on blogging for women who were my age and enjoyed the things I loved and who wanted to see what I saw. But eventually that wasn’t enough for me anymore. Fashion is awesome and where would I be without concealer but I wanted to cover topics that were relevant to me and possibly to other women who looked like me.
I wanted to represent for the ladies that are in that weird place in life (at least it was weird for me) where you are getting older but you are not old! You still have so much life to live and share but you can now do it with more confidence because life experiences have taught you valuable lessons. I was stuck on how to describe this woman when my good friend Sheena (who I actually met through Instagram follow her @she_is_fab) told me you are not getting old you are just becoming seasoned. Thank you Sheena because I took this word and as you know I ran with it! I think it is the perfect word to describe where I am in life as well as other ladies in my audience. What does it mean to be a seasoned woman? My definition is a woman who has not just survived but conquered all those things that life tends to throw at us like hurt, pain and loss. Even though those experiences (which we tend to collect as we age) can be hard those experiances are necessary and help to sprinkle us with wisdom, perseverance, strength and that certain je ne sais quoi! Shoot that description right there makes me proud to be a seasoned woman! I mean who really wants to be bland anyway?
I decided at the request of my fellow seasoned sisters to create merchandise geared for us. My first venture into this scary new world is a graphic tee. I love T-shirts like the next person but I am careful about what I broadcast across my chest. For instance, I love trap music just like the next mother of teenagers, but I don’t want a T-shirt that says TRAP QUEEN. I wanted a T-shirt that was fun but at the same time expressed my pride in being a Seasoned Woman. I designed two shirts so far that I felt expressed and I hope you like them. Of course, these are samples and the final edit will be a little different (and better quality, I am figuring all this out as I go!) but I am uber proud of what I have came up with. So be on the lookout in the future for these and more! (Hint: sign up for email so you can get updates on the launch, pre sale information and discount codes. Do it now!)
Are you a seasoned woman? Does the definition describe you? Also what do you think of the shirts, would you buy and wear one? Let me know in the comments!
ZarahereBy now everybody knows (In my Phaedra Parks voice) that I absolutely love being a Seasoned Woman!!! It really does feel good to love yourself, have confidence and know what and who you want in your life. One of the things I have learned from being seasoned is the way you carry yourself is important! Growing up my mother ALWAYS emphasized that as a woman you should carry yourself a certain way. As a child I never quite understood what that meant but now I understand completely.
The way you look, speak, treat other people makes up the way you carry yourself. I think the way we look is very important whether we want to admit it or not. It is not how other people should define us but our image is what gets us through the door whether its business or personal. And I am not talking about beauty. I am talking about class. Are you neat and clean? Are your clothes ironed and pockets tucked into your jeans (my pet peeve with my kids!)? Is your hair combed or out of place? Are your fingernails dirty? Do you smile or frown? All of these are things people see and make a determination as to whether they want to get to know you better.
Another thing which may be a touchy subject for the ladies is are you showing too much? I’m not talking about a little cleavage here or there or wearing a crop top. I’m talking about the barely there painted on dress. Don’t be shamed because I have done it but now I understand that leaving something to the imagination is way sexier than baring it all. Some celebrities and even influencers think it’s cute to show us everything they’re working with, but I am here to tell you it is not. Leave that for your man, woman or whoever you are dating in 2018. I’ll tell you another thing Sallie has said. If I can already see your whole city, state and country- why would I want to travel there anymore?
That was one of the main reasons I chose this dress as my Valentines look. I am almost completely covered but I am still SEXY (If I do say so myself). This dress is midi length which I love and has an open knit fabric which has a slip underneath but still shows just enough skin (size down for a more form fitting look cause the dress has a nice stretch). I don’t have to worry about tugging and pulling a dress down, scared I’m going to show all my mama blessed me with. I don’t have to think about a boob popping out or sliding up under my bra (Yes that has happened smh). I am still SEXY and SEASONED without giving everybody a peep show.
Don’t be scared, tell me how you really feel about women showing a lot of skin? Do you agree with what I said or think I’m too old school?
I pray you have an awesome Valentine’s Day whether you or boo’d up or single and satisfied. Remember to love yourself first because that’s how people will love you in return!
Back to Black Series: The Little Black Dress (LBD) is a necessity in your wardrobe!
I am excited to participate in a collaboration with several other AWESOME bloggers showing you how to style those never ending black items that we love! Make sure to check out the other bloggers style picks via the links at the end of this post.
As ya’ll know from this post here I am re-organizing my closet and trying my best to include clothing I absolutely love. The little black dress (LBD) is definitely a staple I needed in my closet. I actually want to add another one more suited for our hot Houston weather. And even though we have had freezing temperatures here the dress I am wearing today fits our normal winter weather. This dress is made of a thicker ribbed sweater material and ruffles I love placed strategically around the armholes which helps to hide this big ole arms of mine! I found this dress on clearance at Express for additional 50% and ended up paying around $15!
I styled the dress for a date night in this post since V day is next month and kept the emphasis on the short hemline and plunging neckline. However I believe this dress can be styled with black opaque tights and a camisole or tank underneath for more conservative events.
I decided to show a little leg (my children were not pleased) and instead of wearing the usual over the knee boots I wore my black boots (4 yrs old from Forever 21) that reach right below my knee. I was trying to keep it sexy but these knees are a little chubby hunny! Hopefully the Keto diet will take care of that lol!
I know I love black for several reasons (especially the slimming aspect) and you will see all black everything in my closet quite often. Please be sure to check out the bloggers by clinking the link below to see how fabulously they styled everyday black pieces before we get with all the colors that spring bring!
So I had planned another outfit for this post but last minute I had to pick something else. I couldn’t bring myself to wear much less promote anything from a company that obviously doesn’t want my coins and as a mother of a black son I’m just not here for it. So anyway I really had no idea what I wanted to wear and went to the mall for some inspiration. While browsing the clearance racks I found this gray duster and figured this would work with my favorite skinny jeans and a white shirt. But then it hit me! This outfit is so BASIC. No one will be excited about seeing these pics. I was on the verge of picking something else out, spending coins I shouldn’t when I said to myself this is a cute outfit. Why would I spend money I didn’t need to spend in order to impress anyone? I’m sorry that’s just not what a Seasoned Woman does. So instead I bought it and styled it (if you can even call it that) for the blog. I’m okay with being basic. And here are some reasons why:
Being Basic keeps my coins in my purse- When we try to impress people (people that don’t really care anyway) by being the flashiest or most extra, we are normally spending money we may not even have. Believe me ladies I know, I know. I’ve been the one with the designer bag and high heels trying to be the epitome of the Trina song we know so well. It didn’t do anything but leave me with no money to put in that purse and bad knees. As I’ve gotten more seasoned I’ve become okay with wearing basics. And this doesn’t just apply to clothes. It can happen when you try to be flashy and “front” as we used to say by being at every event knowing full well your gas light in your car is on or trying to keep up with Jones’ and having every cable channel, NBA league pass AND NFL ticket when no one humanly possible even has time to watch all that stuff much less pay for it! Hell I don’t even want cable anymore. I’ll Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime and chill any night. Or read a book (or listen to one).
Being Basic helps me stay in my own lane-A big part of being better (my word for 2018 -see the post here) is to focus on my strengths and improve upon my weaknesses and being basic helps me focus on that. When you’re not try to do all things and be everything and everywhere you learn to focus on what you love and what’s important. Suddenly losing so many loved ones last year helped me regain focus on truly living my life, discovering my passion and loving the ones I’m with.
Being Basic keeps me drama free-Nothing to see here cause I’m basic. When you give them nothing to talk about, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ll just stay over here making my moves in silence. Thanks.
Being Basic makes me unbothered- I don’t let too many things, people or situations bother me anymore. As a seasoned woman I have learned what is and what isn’t worth my time and energy. Sometimes that means being quiet, forgiving the offense and moving on to other things. I’ve also learned that worrying solves nothing and prayer solves everything. Saying just pray about it may be the most basic response someone can give when an issue arises but who can argue that prayer doesn’t work? I’ll wait.
Being Basic gets ish done- When you’re in your own lane, got a few dollars in that basic bag and you’re drama free and unbothered you get finish things. Honestly if I was trying to do the most, this blog post wouldn’t have gotten done. I think we all spend a little too much time on elaborate ideas instead of just executing simple plans, step by step. I always believe the mantra, progress is better than perfection. And who really wants to be fabulous but not moving forward in life. Not saying you shouldn’t present your best but just don’t get caught up that nothing is accomplished. Rather than trying to be the perfect most original blogger ever (in my opinion there is really no original idea only an original you!) I’ll just be basic and live my best life!
My closet is definitely something I am working on this year and this dress was a must have!
So probably by this date you are sick about hearing about goals and all that jazz so I won’t carry on or be long today. All I want to say is that you can write your goals down, pray over them, memorize and meditate over them whatever you do but none of that means anything if you don’t take action! Those same goals will be sitting in that pretty planner until next year and the year after that until you get up and start taking some steps even if they’re tiny ones. I think everyone wants to talk about the pretty side of goal setting but you have to know that nothing works until you do. And that may mean sacrificing time or money on other things or doing something toward your goal when you don’t feel like it (kind of how I felt today lol) but I say if you REALLY want something you’ll do whatever it takes. So go ahead and write that goal down (and subscribe to the blog so you can get your goal action plan download 😉 but make sure you put in the work too!!!
Now on to this dress hunny!!! This dress was definitely apart of my closet goals. To me closet goals is being able to go into my closet and wear whatever is there and look and feel good in it. No more never feeling like I have anything cute to wear! Am I the only one that feels like that? Anyways I absolutely love this dress except even though it fits everywhere else it is quite snug around my chest. Ugh!!! Fashion retailers if you’re listening you need to create sizing for us larger busted women. Okay rant over now let me tell you why this dress is amazing. First the pattern is classic and it’s a midi length shirt dress so it’s perfect for the office or church but I certainly think that you can dress it down for a brunch or happy hour (check out that split). And this Zara beauty is also goals because I can rock it with boots now but later in the spring some sandals and a colorful belt would look good too. You will definitely see me in this again just in a different way. Now tell me do you have closet goals too?
This post was supposed to be about a dress but it turned out to be a testimony!
So this started off as a post sharing my last minute holiday look in this gorgeous Eva Mendes by NY&Company dress. However how many of y’all know when we make plans God laughs! Yeah so I decided that I wanted to venture out and instead of taking pictures at my normal spot, which is a hidden park, I went to a busy shopping center in our city. Lawd! It was all a great idea in my head until my daughter, my photographer for the day, and I arrived at the location. I cannot lie y’all!!! I was scared!!! I was already dressed, face beat to the gods but with all eyes on me I was ready to run for the hills. This was a BIG step for me because I am an introvert and I am not comfortable being the center of attention.
Well with the help of my hype man a.k.a. My child I had to get over it and on with it because she was not here for my antics. She told me I was a grown woman and I looked good so why wouldn’t people look? Well after that boost of confidence (laugh and side eye at the same dang time!) I had to go ahead shake off my fears and work for the camera! And you know what? I love the way these pictures turned out! So coming out of your comfort zone can reap major rewards! I even had a sweet woman stop me on the street and tell me I looked good and she hoped I took pictures. I explained I did and I was a blogger (I actually said that out loud?) and she immediately asked me for my IG name and followed me! Ain’t God good? He will give you confirmation AFTER you take that step of faith! BUT you got to take that step!
So let me quickly spill the tea on this dress! It’s velvet and gorgeous!!! It really did help me to feel beautiful and confidently take these pictures. I will say it was an act of God to get the wrinkles out but it was so worth it! And I told y’all this fur scarf/stole would be making an appearance on the blog! It helped to make the outfit even more glamorous! If you can’t run out to purchase a new outfit for a last minute function a new accessory is the perfect way to change up an old look. Get you a fur hunny and you will turn any outfit up several notches! I went with minimal jewelry since the dress and fur were dramatic enough. And because this dress is floor length I wore low heels and you couldn’t even tell but you would be able to dance all night if you needed to! I hope you enjoy the pictures and the post and more than anything I pray you step out of your comfort zone!!! Your dreams could be on the other side!