Yup we are going to talk about Self-Love. I know you are like GIRL I love me! And if you do then great! This post isn’t for you then. But for those who are still learning to love their selves you are welcome to read my story.
This post was originally a Galentine’s Day look. You know to hang with your girl crew. Maybe a quick happy hour or gabfest over dinner. The top is cute and comfortable (size down!) and snatches that waist! And because I intend to get a lot of wear out of all my clothes and shoes the red boots are back and I feel they are appropriate for this type of event (hello Valentines = Red).
Even though I bought a new wig hot flashes (at least I thought they were lol) kept me from wearing it. I decided to try out a natural hairstyle instead. You see my 12 year old daughter entered 6th grade which is considered middle school here in TX and the growing pains have arrived. She no longer loves and embraces her beautiful thick long and curly natural hair. And that saddens me. She wants her hair straightened and worn long (I’m thinking someone commented on her having short hair but we all know the shrinkage struggle) and even though I’ve done it for her I’ve explained this can’t be a frequent hairstyle because of the heat damage. I could see the disappointment in her eyes and Lord knows I want to make her happy but I’m also her mother and must do what’s best. So I decided to wear my natural hair to show her Mama loves being natural too. Now even though my youngest two daughters are natural and have never had relaxers and I can say I style their hair pretty well, mine ain’t like that! It’s gonna take some getting used to but I’m confident I can learn my hair.
BUT HUNNY!!! If you knew me say 4-5 years ago I could not have stepped out in public with my natural hair EVER!!! I would have felt ugly. Period. I had low self esteem and hardly any self confidence. I looked haggard (my sister and mother actually told me that ugh) and I was about 225 lbs and you could have easily thought I was 10 years older than I actually was. It was sad. I was sad. And you could actually see it from the way I carried myself, talked, my activities EVERYTHING! My life was my kids and my marriage was not good. I just wasn’t in a good place in life. I considered suicide. Again. But I promised myself I would never leave my children motherless. At least not by my hand. I’ve always struggled with depression most of my life. When I was 4 & 5 years old I was molested. I don’t remember all of what happened but I knew what was going on wasn’t right. My mother found out what happened and actions were taken and people went to jail. But unfortunately I went with them to my own personal jail. It’s something about having your innocence taken away that makes you feel dirty, tainted, and unworthy. I can say my Mama did the best she could to make sure I went to therapy and group sessions but this was all while I was still very young. See you don’t really feel the effects of what abuse does to you until you are older. Until you are growing up and your body changes and you experience love or what you think is love and deal with the stresses of adulting. All of that took a toll on me. However I survived those things but I wasn’t living life. I was cold, mean, not affectionate, and confusing to people that loved me. The tiniest thing would depress me and I never ever felt someone would truly love me because of what I had been through and therefore I never let anyone be close to me. In October 2001 I attempted suicide after a break up. I took as many Xanax pills as I had which were quite a few and decided to leave this earth. I’m not sure if I really wanted to die but at that time I didn’t feel worthy enough to stay here. Fortunately I was awakened by family members and an ambulance and I was not too far gone so my stomach didn’t have to be pumped but I did have to drink that nasty charcoal (y’all you will have that stuff in your system for months!) and I was committed to a psych ward for 2 days. It was an experience I never wish to have again. Years later I wanted to live but I still wasn’t enjoying life because of the depression. I still was looking for love that I didn’t give myself. BUT GOD!!! He will let you know you are loved. I can’t say it was a church that helped me specifically it was just my prayers and I’m sure the prayers of others that were interceding on my behalf but I decided I wanted to love me. I wanted to love me like God loves me. I wanted to enjoy my life as Rickey Nicole. Not a wife or mom or daughter or sister. Just as me. And then the transformation began. Was it overnight? Of course not. But little by little I started discovering who I was and what I liked and didn’t like and what I enjoyed doing and started living a little. I experimented with new clothing. I discovered make up and hair tutorials on YouTube and I tried everything whether it worked or not lol. Those things might seem superficial but discovering my beauty and worth filled me with happiness and people could tell. I’m still an introvert (ha I bet you don’t believe that) but I talk to people now instead of hide. I laugh, I smile, I’m even a bit of a flirt (with my husband of course *wink*). Life has changed drastically since I’ve learned to love myself. And even though everyday isn’t peachy I still remember where I was and I’m grateful because I’m here to experience it all the good and the bad. This is also why I celebrate being a seasoned woman because I got better as I grew older and I hope to inspire other ladies that aging can be THE best blessing (I mean a birthday means you are still living right!) So I guess I’ll leave you with a tip to the secret of how I discovered self love. Remember you were created in His image and He even knows the number of hairs on your head. Tell me who knows that!!! God! And through Him ALL things are possible even loving yourself almost as much as He loves you. I mean cause you can’t out love God but you can come pretty dang close!
So normally around this time of year everyone is making their New Year resolutions. Well I’m not. I don’t think the beginning of a new year should be an indicator of change. First of all most people are scared of change but it is necessary in life. Without changes there would be no growth. Personally I have learned to embrace change. Without change I wouldn’t have this blog and have met so many wonderful women and men who have helped me grow and learn. So yeah change is scary but it definitely can also be good.
Another thing that a lot of people say this season is new year, new me. To me this is to say the old you isn’t good or something which is totally untrue. I think we are all good people (well most of us, our current world leader is questionable), some of us just get in bad situations, or make not so smart decisions or life just happens and our reactions aren’t well thought out or planned. But we are all still good. So instead of saying new year, new me, say new year, better me. Better decisions, better situations, and better reactions and planning. All that will lead to what I believe the Lord has put in all of us which is greatness! So in 2018, be GREAT!!
So this last minute NYE look is actually not last minute. I’ve had this dress since October from Forever21 (the plus line, it’s a 0x) and these shoes from JustFab for 3 yrs. I added the fur stole (it was on sale under $15) also from Forever21 and the sequined/ velvet clutch is from wait for it…the 99 cent only store! It doesn’t cost a lot to look poppin as the young folks say!!
I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I will be sipping a little something something from the comfort of my own home for the free 99 but if you turn up make sure to do it responsibly and safely!!!
Hello my #seasonednevertasteless ladies! I just wanted to share my very first YouTube video on my blog! I hope you enjoy and don’t forget to subscribe, like and comment and share with another woman you think would like my content!!! Thanks so much!
Satan definitely tried it when I was trying to get this post done! So I had planned this post about 3 weeks ago when I first saw this skirt here. When it went on sale for 50% off I grabbed it and I planned on finding a graphic tee to wear with it. I have fallen in love with graphic tees thanks to my blogger boo Ranisha (check out her blog here, she’s awesome!) but I knew I didn’t just want any shirt, I wanted one with a message or something I really liked. As a seasoned woman I just don’t like to walk around with just anything on my chest. I want people to feel something even if it’s just nostalgia. So I was just about to click the buy button on a Sade T-shirt (and don’t worry I’m still gonna get it lol) but something said hey this would be a chance to style an outfit for church especially with this gorgeous velvet skirt. So I searched some Christian tees on Etsy and this was one of THE first shirts I saw. I knew this was it because I had a friend/co-worker who would always say “Not Today!” whenever his conversation with a client was going in the wrong direction if you catch my drift.
So this is when things went left. I ordered the wrong color shirt. My original vision for this look was a white tee with black writing but oops I don’t think I paid attention when checking out. BUT I didn’t open the package until the day of the shoot. I also planned on wearing a pearl bib necklace with it to dress it up for church but the necklace was so big it covered up the writing. So I took another L and just settled on simple accessories since it was my goal to just get this message across. I struggled y’all because I stayed out too long and my makeup sucked, my wig wouldn’t act right (hence the ponytail) and my photographer failed to tell me one sock was falling down around my ankle. BUT I still fought and pulled thru bc when I heard what happened in my home state of Texas Sunday I knew everyone I could reach needed to see this. The difficulties I ran into were NOTHING! People lost their lives AND the fear of not feeling safe in their place of worship, which should be a sacred place, was felt in the hearts of Americans everywhere. Well I am here to say on my small piece of the web that fear does not exist except when it comes to fearing God and Him only! I still have my faith because I know what God has done for me and delivered me from. With age comes experience and the knowing that this too shall pass. I pray for everyone that was affected and hurt and my prayer is also that we continue to go to our places of worship wherever that may be. Praise and worship confuses the enemy so let’s make sure he stays out the loop. Not today Satan, or tomorrow or ever! I’ll see y’all at church.
Soooo if you follow me on social media (which you definitely should! Instagram: @rickiloves) you know I usually share what I cook for my family throughout the week. And several people asked me to start sharing recipes on my blog. And of course I will! Apart of being a #seasonednevertasteless woman is knowing how to do a little something, something in the kitchen. By no means am I chef but I do know how to get a meal together usually quickly and for the low low. Actually I am NOT one of those women who love to cook, I actually love to bake but unfortunately my husband and kids (well maybe they could) can’t live off cheesecakes, cookies and brownies.
A recipe that all my family enjoys is Teriyaki Crockpot Chicken. I say all my family because my husband is a picky man and he actually likes this too. This meal is easy to throw together and you can add some veggies or rice or even fried rice (they make already frozen fried rice in the freezer section of your local grocery store) and have a fast meal and never fire up a stove if you don’t want to. And nobody has to know but you and me and whoever else reads this lol. Let’s do this hunny!
Teriyaki Crockpot Chicken
Pack of chicken drumsticks or whatever part of the chicken you like (thighs are great for this recipe too)
Now I don’t measure so these are estimates but I suggest you start with a little and taste later and add more if needed. The rule when seasoning is you can always add more later but you can’t take away.
2-3 TSP of Seasoning Salt (I use Tony’s Chacheres)
1-2 TSP of Onion powder
1-2 TSP of Garlic powder
1/2 TSP of ground ginger (optional)
1 TBS of Rice wine vinegar (optional)
1/2 cup of teriyaki sauce
2-3 TSP of soy sauce
3 TBS of brown sugar
2 TBS of honey (I had blue agave syrup)
1/4 orange juice or pineapple juice
You can also add BBQ sauce to make Teriyaki BBQ chicken. That’s really good and it thickens the sauce.
Spray your crockpot with oil spray or use a liner.
Add cleaned chicken
Add all ingredients starting with the dry seasonings and then the wet.
Cook on crockpot on low for 4-6 hours.
When I’m done cooking if my sauce isn’t thick I may take some out, add a little cornstarch, mix and add back in but if the sauce isn’t thick it’s still okay your chicken will have soooo much flavor! Serve over rice with veggies and you have a complete meal!!! Hope you enjoy and please let me know if you make this. There will be more recipes coming soon because I think it’s important to share things that help me get adulting done lol!
Since you’ve been gone, feels good when I’m with you. I miss you, come back home.” – Monifah. Those lyrics are exactly how I felt about blogging. Just to let you know Pandora stays on the 90s R&B station and when I heard this song I knew I needed to get back to blogging. What can I say? There’s no real excuse for my absence besides just life. We had Hurricane Harvey come to Houston at the end of August and honestly even though my immediate family was safe and dry, it just messed me up mentally and emotionally. But shiggity happens and as humans especially as women we must learn to get back up and keep pushing and that’s what I’m doing.
So here I am and I’m in one of my favorite pieces for summer but showing you how to transition it to fall. The kimono. And this one was only $14 from good ole Boohoo.com. I hate to kimono y’all to death but this one was perfect for fall with all the black and the deep red. I am in love with red this season. The color just warms my blood and makes me feel alive! (Yeah I’m corny lol) And I. FREAKING. LOVE. KIMONOS. So yeah I got another one coming to the blog soon. What can I say? They’re the perfect piece for layering and they let me cover up this hurricane weight I’ve gained without looking frumpy. I would order a size down on this particular one unless you live for the drama which I do of course and I really like that this one sweeps the floor and I’m 5’7. It also has a sash if you want to cinch in the waist. The rest of the outift is a basic black tank and my fav fashion nova high waisted jeans. And some basic black booties from JustFab because I was too lazy for heels lol. And for all you ladies who comment on my waist, I do have one but spanx and waist shapers are my bff. Proper undergarments help complete a look, not to necessarily slim you but smooth those lumps and bumps, I’m just saying. Beyonce wears them okkkkaaayyy so I ain’t shamed! So what colors and trends are you loving this fall? And what tips can you give for getting out a funk? I’d love to hear about it all, let’s talk!
Happy Monday ladies!!! Now I’m down for showing a little leg and maybe even a little cleavage here and there but the skin I’m referring to in this post is in our face! As I’ve grown older (and wiser and better I might add lol) I have paid more attention to taking better care of my skin. I love make up and how it makes me look and feel BUT 93.7265% of the time I am make up free. I am a busy woman with a family, work, and other activities so make up is not a priority when I’m trying to just make it out the door! And that especially applies on Monday! So I want to share some of the things I use in my skincare routine today.
Ladies as we age it is sooooooo important that we take care of our skin. Our skin has been through so much as our bodies have changed throughout the years. We’ve had acne, sun exposure, dietary changes and we maybhave had medical issues involving medications that can cause changes in our skin. I will tell you the absolute first step to great skin is drinking water. Period. Water helps hydrate our bodies and our skin which leads to a brighter appearance, less breakouts and plumper skin (think less wrinkles). So get you about 8 glasses a day. I guarantee you this will work!
Secondly we must clean our skin. Everyday twice a day I use a cleanser on my skin whether I wear make up or not. It’s important because just think about all the things you come in contact with daily whether it’s in the air or something you may handle with your hands and then touch your face. The cleansers I recommend are Clean and Clear Morning Burst face wash and Avon Anew Clean Cleansing Foam (shop my Avon e-store here). I like the Clean and Clear in the a.m. because it does include little beads that wake up your skin and I use the Avon at night because it thoroughly removes away all the dirt and grime from the day.
In addition to cleansing daily, if I wear make up I makes sure to remove makeup with Garnier Micellar Water. This stuff works! I use the one with the teal top which is formulated for eye make up removal. I just saturate a cotton pad and wipe away my makeup. I also use it to clean my lashes and then spray with alcohol to disinfect. I would definitely recommend this product especially if you are a make up lover like me.
I always follow up cleansing my skin with a moisturizer. I have combination skin and even though I tend to get oily especially in the summer I still moisturize because your skin needs that hydration. You will actually cause your skin to produce more oil if you do not apply moisturizer because it is trying to make up for the moisture it needs. A smooth moisturized face also helps apply your foundation and concealer more smoothly. I use the Avon Anew AHA refining cream. I love this moisturizer because it’s thick and a little goes along way. I follow up my moisturizer whether I wear makeup or a little drop of the Avon MagiX Face perfector because it contains SPF. I only use a little because it personally does not keep me matte but I love the protection it gives against the sun.
I have always had acne and as an adult I still have break outs especially around my time of the month. Because of my acne and the fact I pick at my breakouts (Don’t do it!) I have hyperpigmenation and acne scarring. To help fade my dark marks I use Ambi Fade cream. This stuff is old school but it works! BUT you must use it consistently, preferably twice a day. I also try to use it as soon as a dark mark appears and normally I sew it fading in a few weeks. It does also contain sunscreen to prevent dark marks from getting darker.
Finally once a week I make sure to exfoliate. It is very important to deep clean your skin and pores and scrub away dead skin cells. This will give you a brighter appearance and for your cleansers and moisturizers to penetrate your skin more deeply. When we age the skin cells our body makes slows down so exfoliation aids in producing new ones. I use Clean and Clear Deep Action Exfoliating scrub and I normally cleanse in the shower using a cleansing brush. The one I have is from Oil of Olay which is on its last leg but Avon makes one which is on sale for $24.99 which I plan on purchasing. The power brush really helps get deep and my skin feels so good after using it.
Now I am a reformed product junkie so I’ve tried alot of products over the years but I have narrowed my routine down to these steps and products and I really feel my skin has improved as I’ve gotten older. Some things like the Ambi are tried and true and some things are new like the Micellar water but will remain a staple. If you have skin issues I always suggest doing your research and visiting a dermatologist. So what are your skin care secrets? I would love to know so please share in the comments below!