In My White Jeans : Part 2

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Top : Shein     Jeans: H&M (no longer available, similar here)

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Hello lovely Ladies!!! Sorry for the delay but I am back! We had some really trying times lately in our family with the loss of two dear and close family members. My heart just wasn’t in blogging this last week so I needed a break (you are probably like Ricki you just started your blog last month and you already are taking a break? lol) I just had to get my mind right and I am thankful that God granted me the peace I needed and let me know my family members are in the best place and I will see them again! My family and I want to thank you for the condolences and prayers you left on my social media accounts. Now it’s time for me to focus on doing what I love and that is sharing my style with you gorgeous ladies and hopefully encouraging and inspiring women to be the best version of themselves regardless of their age!

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Shoes: Shoedazzle (old)

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Now on to the post! I am wearing the H&M jeans that I wore in my previous post with an off the shoulder (obsessed!) top from Shein.  I love this outfit because to me it speaks casual glam! The jeans dress the outfit down but the top is so fun but classy because of the ruffles. The off the shoulder trend is something everyone can wear and feel confident in. To show your shoulders you don’t have to shave or wax them or worry about wrinkles, cellulite or batwings! They are the perfect body part to show off for us ladies over 30! Ladies I encourage you to try this trend at least once this season, and I am almost 100% sure you will love it! Now I promised you some tips on keeping white jeans clean and here is what I have found works for me. First, I am mindful where I wear them. Let’s be honest, they are white so unless I am super careful (which I am not) I do not wear them to places I know I can get them dirty at like a BBQ or an outdoor event with the kids. That’s just setting yourself up for failure! If I do wear them out to eat, I make sure I cover my lap with the biggest napkin I can find or a jacket or some other covering. If I get a stain when I get home I make sure to pre-treat the stain prior to washing. Secondly, I do not use bleach to wash them. Bleach will yellow your whites, instead you can pre-soak your jeans in some warm water and baking soda or you can add white vinegar to the wash. Also, make sure you keep your white jeans separate from your other clothes instead of just tossing them in the hamper. The dye from other clothing can easily transfer onto your whites and it gets even worse when they are sitting in the hamper for a week or until you do laundry. Finally, if I can catch my husband in time (he is the laundry person in our family) I do not dry my jeans. I let them air dry and then I might put them in the dryer on low for a few minutes to knock out the wrinkles. I heard it is even better to dry them in the sun the old fashioned way on the clothesline because the sun will bleach them naturally and not cause that icky looking yellowing. It’s always great to get longevity out of staple pieces and I hope what I shared helps. If you have more tips please share them below, I would love to try them!

Love Ricki

In My White Jeans: Part One

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White jeans H&M found here
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Kimono – Forever 21 here Similar here and here Shoes – Urban OG (old)

In My White Jeans: Part One

One of my favorite pieces to wear in the summer is white jeans. I absolutely love the crisp and clean look they give an outfit and just like black or blue jeans they can pair with almost anything.  My summertime uniform is white jeans, a denim or chambray shirt and a colorful shoe. You look put together without trying too hard and it’s usually something every woman has in her closet. Now I realize that everyone doesn’t share my love for white jeans for 2 main reasons. One, they CAN show everything and two they get dirty easy! Well I am here to show you white jeans can look good on you too you just have to find the right pair. My suggestion for finding white jeans that make you look chic is to find a pair that is high- waisted, have stretch and are not made of a thin material. High waisted jeans make sure that midsection is smooth and helps with the muffin top (in my opinion). I was one of those women who shouted from the rooftop when low-rise jeans finally went out of style! Another tip: when looking make sure the label reads 3% spandex and also try them on! I know I know I hate trying on clothes too but I also hate returning items to the store more, so take your pick. But if you don’t try them on you won’t know if they are see through and if the material is flattering on your shape so just do it! The pair that I am wearing are from H&M, are a good quality, stretch (a lot) and were under $15! I’ve linked them above and some similar ones here and here.

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Now on to the look: I almost love this kimono! I’ll tell you why almost in a minute. I found this kimono in store at Forever 21 (yes I shop there, no I am not 21 and there will be a post about this) and I tried it on right there in the middle of the store and loved how I looked. It’s linked above and I linked similar ones that you might like as well. I knew it would look great with a white tank and jeans and a sexy shoe for date or a girl’s night out. The only reason why I can’t totally fall in love with this piece is the back is short. I would have preferred the back to be long as well so that I could wear with some denim shorts and hide my cellulite but one day if I’m feeling myself you never know. But you will definitely see this kimono again because one thing I definitely plan on doing on the blog is showing how you can style multiple pieces different ways and get a new look! Later this week you will be seeing these jeans again and getting tips on how to keep clean in white. Thank you everyone who voted on my social media accounts to see this look first and make sure you follow me with my links in the sidebar so you can get in on the action! In the meantime I hope you enjoy the pics and let me know what you think of this look and if you love wearing white jeans too!

No More Bambi

 

 

 

Shoes : 1. here 2. here 3. here 4. here 5. here 6. here 7. here 8. here 9. here 10. here

11. here 12. here 13. here

Let me tell you I don’t follow trends, if I like something and it fits into my style and wardrobe I buy it but I am here for the flats and slides trend! Now don’t get it twisted I still love heels just like the next woman. I love the way they look with certain outfits and how it makes my calves look like I’ve been in the gym (ha!) BUT I if I can be honest they hurt! And just to keep it real with ya’ll I am not the most graceful person either. In the past my sister has teased me endlessly saying I look like Bambi trying to walk (insert side eye here). Now over time I have gotten better wearing heels but they still hurt. And it ALWAYS gets me when I read reviews for heels and some women comment that they are so comfortable. That’s a lie and the truth isn’t in them! Just kidding, they may be comfortable for some women and I guess I am just jealous because they have never been comfortable for me, just bearable. Please share any tips you have on making heels more comfortable in the comments. Please. Anyway, this is why I am loving the flats and slides trend!!! I have not seen so many fashionable flat shoes in a long while and I am loving most I have seen. I have ordered a few and will be styling them on the blog in the weeks to come but I have linked several affordable options above from Shein. If you have never heard of Shein they are an online fashion store based in Asia. They are very affordable and carry lots of trends and designer inspired pieces that you may want to try but don’t want to spend a lot of money on. Now in all honesty some items are hit and miss but for the most part I have been pretty satisfied with my purchases. This will be my first time ordering shoes from them and I will let you know how they are as soon as I receive them. In the meantime, ladies we no longer have to be a slave to fashion and heels, we can be chic in flats! As I have said before I am almost 40 and I need my knees so I am all over these and I hope ya’ll check them out!

Love Ricki

Graduation Day: What I wore and what I told my (almost) adult daughter

 

 

 

AirBrush_20170603083017Well yesterday was the big day! My firstborn graduated from high school and I couldn’t be more proud! I am sharing what I wore above. You guys really liked this dress which is funny because it wasn’t what I originally planned to wear. I bought this dress on Memorial Day weekend when I was actually shopping for a dress with my daughter to wear under her cap and gown. I also found a very cute kimono which is what I wanted to wear but when I thought about the Houston heat and humidity and figured my three daughters were wearing dresses (my younger daughters’ dresses were on clearance from Old Navy btw) too I thought I would go along with the theme. Flat sandals were necessary because there was lots of stairs and walking. This dress was comfortable and on trend and I absolutely loved the neckline. You will see I love details! And the best thing is the dress was 50% so I paid less than $15! I am wearing an extra large for reference because it is a body con style and I didn’t want it to be tight and to hug my lumps and bumps or be too tight across my chest because I do have large breasts and plus I wanted it long enough since I am tall. I really liked this dress and you will be seeing it again except next time with heels!

Now on to some advice I have gleaned living this thing called life that I shared with my daughter:

  1. Do it afraid – Whatever “it” is do it in spite of fear. Even if “it” fails, that doesn’t make you a failure. You just learn a lesson and one way that doesn’t work.
  2. Protect your heart, your mind and your body- Meaning don’t let people feed you their negativity, don’t let anyone mishandle your heart and don’t abuse your body because you only get one. I believe if you keep God first and remember you are His child it will help you make better decisions regarding all these aspects.
  3. Read a book(s) – Read one non-fiction book a month. It’s so important to feed your mind. Your knowledge is something no one can take away from you.
  4. Filter advice and opinions – Everyone will have something to say about everything – learn to listen but take only what you need.
  5. Forgive- Everyone makes mistakes and even though the relationship may not endure those mistakes learn to forgive AND move on so that you are not imprisoned by your past. Remember you will make many mistakes as well!

So I hope you are enjoying your Sunday and here are some more pics from the day.

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We Can Have it All, But we Can’t Do it All

 

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No Cape Here

May is Mental Health Month and because I have battled depression all my life it was important for me to write this post. My blog is dedicated to helping women look and FEEL their best especially women over the age of 30. I find when we reach a certain age we no longer become the focus like we were when we were younger. I often feel that younger women are allowed to be more focused on themselves because there is this idea that they are discovering who they are. And because we are older we are fulfilling more roles than just daughter, sister and student, but we are now mothers, wives, employees, entrepreneurs and perform more duties such as being the cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, counselor, and caregiver, etc. In all these roles we take on, we forget that we are human beings and not Superwomen. I believe God has given each of us in-explainable strength and its true His promise to us is that He will not put more on us than we can bear, but we fail to recognize we put things on ourselves that God never intended for us to do. And then we wonder why we are so stressed or depressed.

I have learned thru my fight against depression that I can no longer be caught up in what society thinks I should be. From my own personal experience I have learned that society thinks being a black woman equals inherent strength but that doesn’t mean we are indestructible. The issues of life can bring me down and in those instances where I feel depression or sadness come on I remember I cannot be everything to everyone and as long as I am doing my best I’m good. It’s okay to take breaks, it’s normal to make mistakes, and sometimes we have to get help and delegate and there is nothing wrong with extending love to ourselves daily. I have included some ideas below that can help us to retire the idea that it is necessary for us to do it all.

· Get help – This may seem like “duh” but we all know we have said at least once “If I want something done right, I have to do it myself”. This may be true in some cases but sometimes just getting whatever it is done is more important than it being done to our standards. If a co-worker volunteers to organize this month’s birthday celebration for the team, let them! So maybe they can’t cook, so suggest they cater or just remember to bring your lunch that day. Just take the pressure off yourself to organize an event that is not of importance to you. Within this suggestion I want to say that it is okay to get professional help. i.e. therapy. I know that people don’t want to share personal problems with an outside party but a professional can help you organize your thoughts, gain a different perspective and formulate solutions. We must stop putting a stigma on going to a counselor or seeking professional help and we must realize that being healthy encompasses our mental health as well. Tip: Check with your employer or benefits to see what is covered under mental health. Some companies offer a series of free counseling services under their employee assistance program (EAP).

· Get Organized and Establish Routines – Some of the stress we experience is caused by us. Period. And it’s because we do not prepare for and command our day. Organization can be as simple as putting our favorite makeup items in a tray so that when getting ready in the morning we are not searching for an eyebrow pencil. I can’t tell you how many times something I wanted to wear to work were dirty because I left it on the infamous chair in my bedroom when I took it off. Instead establishing a routine of sorting thru that pile of clothes on Thursdays and Sundays so I have things together for the weekend and the workweek has saved me from looking and feeling a mess.

· Practice Self Care every day, not just Saturday – I absolutely love the self-care movement because it gives us the opportunity to take much needed time to pamper ourselves but in all honesty self-care should be practiced daily. It can be something as simple as eating a healthy meal or getting off Instagram and going to bed an hour earlier (guilty). We sometimes should forgo the idea that self-care should be this grandiose event and find simple ways to practice self-care everyday.

· Set small goals- I know personally that I feel on top of the world when I accomplish anything I set out to do. If I can set a time to get the kids in the bed by 8:30 and I do it that leads to me setting other small goals and accomplishing those too. Maybe set a goal to read a chapter of a book every day until you finish it and share your thoughts on social media. Just set a goal no matter how small that you know you can finish and then DO IT! You will feel better and this will lead to you getting more things done.

I hope this post gives you ideas to alleviate stress and battle onsets of depression or anxiety but most importantly I hope it teaches you to give yourself permission to be human instead of some superhero. There is a reason that Superwoman is fictional!

40 Things before 40

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

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Dress – Boohoo

So I recently turned 39 and even though I’m blessed to have made it to this age I realized that my life is actually just beginning. Let me explain. I had my first child at age 21  (no wild partying for me!). I never went away to college, I took classes at a local university and ultimately finished my degree at University of Phoenix at age 30. I didn’t really travel because after the first kid I married and 2, 3 and 4 followed quickly behind. I have worked at the same company for 14 years, with 11 of those in the same position. You get what I’m saying? I have never really experienced life outside of being a wife and mom. Now there is nothing wrong with those things, in fact I have always wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl and I enjoy my life BUT I recently began to think there are other things I want AND I can actually have them! So I started a list of 40 things I want to do before I turn 40. You may read them and think to yourself that’s easy or simple enough or Girl, you haven’t done that yet? Where you been at? But I honestly sat down and wrote down things I really want to do or have and I plan on checking these items off starting with this blog! I hope I encourage you to think about some of the things you want to accomplish and make your own checklist!

  1. Start a blog – DONE
  2. Learn to sew and actually complete a wearable garment.
  3. Become better with technology. I will need some classes for this one!
  4. Take a family cruise with extended family from BOTH sides.
  5. Start a new career.
  6. Lose 10-15 more pounds. (don’t we all? maybe not)
  7. Learn basic Spanish. (I live in TX and this would be to my advantage)
  8. Read at least 5 thought provoking life changing books. One down, four to go.
  9. Take some cooking classes or a cake decorating class to extend my repertoire.
  10. Learn to do box braids for my girls.
  11. Take a vacation with my husband alone (checking this off in September!)
  12. Write a book.
  13. Go to one of those painting with a twist parties (everyone has been to one except me)
  14. Implement a weekly self care routine.
  15. Give a single mom the night off.
  16. Go to a networking event by myself (Scary, very scary)
  17. Decorate every major holiday (so far this is a fail)
  18. Get a bike or rollerblades and actually use them.
  19. Purchase a new car.
  20. Repair my credit (it took a hit this past year due to some life changes)
  21. QUIT my current job. (there will definitely be a post on this!)
  22. Take my oldest daughter and son to a personal finance class or seminar.
  23. Restructure my student loans (remember I went to UOP)AirBrush_20170424160706
  24. Take a new family picture.
  25. Complete the 52 week savings challenge.
  26. Begin and maintain an exercise routine.
  27. Go on one on one dates with each of my children.
  28. Spend more quality time with my extended family. (We are getting old!)
  29. Take a spinning class.AirBrush_20170424160948AirBrush_20170424155645
  30. Throw an event for women who love beauty and fashion and want to make friends like me!
  31. Consistently earn 2 additional incomes.
  32. Create a daily prayer routine. (I actually pray constantly but I would like some structure)
  33. Decorate my master bedroom.
  34. Upgrade my camera and blog once I learn more about technology.
  35. Go to school for cosmetology. My passion and purpose is to help other women look and feel beautiful.
  36. Write several posts on mental health awareness. I don’t think people take this as seriously as they should.
  37. Make new friends outside of my circle (work, church, family).
  38. Start a FB group for women over 30 about beauty and fashion. Sorry younger ladies, our needs are different once you reach a certain age.
  39. Open a business. (Look out for it).
  40. Go hard! I want to stop half-assing it, procrastinating and just get it done. Whatever it is. No excuses.

So what things do you want to do. All I can say is do it now. Don’t wait because over the last few weeks I have discovered time waits for no man or woman. Whether it’s good or bad just try because action will help you build momentum and you will eventually reach your destination wherever that may be.

Love Ricki